Friday, December 29, 2006
The Fox Robot: The Definitive Discussion
Do you know what I love about today's NFL coverage? Robots.
I read blogs, and seen on television, people complain about the Fox Football Robot, I just can't understand it...
I fucking love that Fox Robot, not so much the one that actually plays futuristic robot football (as seen in his 25-second demo reel here). I'm talking about the everyday Sunday robot, the one that fades you in/out of commercial breaks... he warms you up, starts up with doing a little calisthenics, but then, he takes a break and starts waving his finger, and talkin' shit.
I imagine he is talkin' shit to other robots he will be playing later on that day. Robots who told him "you will never make it to professional robot league football"...
Maybe he is talking shit to me, because god knows I deserve it. Or maybe he is just psyching himself up in the mirror pre-game.
It's nice how Fox keeps the robots current. Like on halloween, we saw halloween-pumpkinhead robot, and likewise, robotic trash-talkin' turkey for thanksgiving.
Even before the game on Sunday, I was thinking "God help me, lets see a santa robot", behold, a fucking santa robot. I was at my girlfriends parents house in Detroit (yikes), I pumped my fist on the table, and I was like "Yeah! Santa Robot! Lets Go!", her various uncles just stared at me.
So I don't see why you can't have that robot dressed in a diaper, with a "2007" sash and top hat. A New years shit-talkin' baby robot. Its the only thing that could top that robotic turkey waving its finger at me.
I have also noticed that the Fox Robot wears number 34. I was excited that Walter Payton's corpse had been re-constructed RoboCop-style as the Fox Football Robot. Unfortunately, I think I might have seen a Cowboys Star on his "helmet". And that confused me, because really, a Herschel Walker Robot is a waste of our time. Or maybe, that robot is just how Herschel Walker pays his bills.
Seriously, I need a picture of that robot, for next years Christmas card. I wonder if there is an graphics department guy at fox I could contact...