The Gatorade Bath

A customer of mine wondered aloud last night, "Who invented the Gatorade bath?" I ventured to guess that the Giants had back in '86, (actually '87 was the year of their Superbowl, after the '86 season) that's the first time I remember seeing it.

After some quick googling, it turns out I was right. There is some dispute as to which player gave Parcels his first bath. The American Management Association website states that Jim Burt was first to splash the syrupy liquid on his coach. Most others claim it was Harry Carson. Without the video, I'm alittle sceptical about Carson given his grumpiness in interviews. But it takes two, so let's say they both had a hand in it.

I was surprised to see the amount of writing dedicated to this ritual. Some loving and exhaustive, most of it negative. Seems people are sick of it. They think it's cliche and juvenile. Bryant Gumbel, jerk-off circa '05, had this to say.

"I'm officially asking them to please...order your directors to stop shooting the old and tired, regularly executed, totally predictable, absolutely unfunny, Gatorade bath of the winning coach at game's end. When linebacker Harry Carson of the Giants started dousing Coach Bill Parcells it was cute and different. Now, 20 years later, it's a thrill only for those still into the macarena. It's simple really. You've already ordered your directors to ignore the jerks who leap from the stands onto the field. And you've clearly told them to avoid the cell phone nerds who wave at the cameras. So will you please now suggest they ignore the neanderthals who still think the Gatorade bit is clever. We all know that if you stop showing it, they'll stop doing it. You guys can phase a dated and tired gag out of existence. You have the power. Make this football season and those to come a lot more enjoyable, so please, at least think about it. In advance, gentleman, thank you for considering this one simple request. We'll talk about the stupid crowd shots another time."

Wow, Bryant, you compare the harmless fun of minor tradition, the coaches, fans and players to criminal trespassers, while also calling them "neanderthals" and "stupid." You'll never get a job calling games for the NFLNETWORK.

I started with a simple question. What I discovered was the integrity of my football championships were being threatened by this simple ritual. One the "neanderthal" players may have been dreaming about doing since they were children. Come to think of it, let's lose the roses at the Rose Bowl. I mean, how old is that anyway? And that tired bit when each player and coach on the NCAA Championship team climbs that ladder to cut off their piece of the net. How long does that take, really? Forever, I think. It's obviously disrespectful to the net, plus a waste of money. I would gladly go without seeing the joy on their faces as they do it. That's not what sports is all about.

T.V., you control so much of my life, please start exercising more control over these problems, as well as our sports viewing experience.