Thursday, January 18, 2007

Requiem For A Jag-Off


So it seems that a year spent sunning one's self in the Caribbean can make offers that used to be "insulting" look that much better. Slammin' Sammy is getting back to his roots... The Big D. It really isn't all that surprising that Hicks is the one to give this fucker a shot. After all, he bucked up for A-Rod, backed the truck up for Chan-Ho, and hired Bucky Showalter. Rudy Jarmillo says he can still hit. Awesome.


What? Rueben Sierra wasn't available? No Rob Deer?


I have had an extreme case of Love/Hate with Sammy. A Sosa jersey hangs in the back, WAY back, of my closet. (It was a gift by the way.. I wanted a Grace jersey.) A Sammy Sosa ornament USED to hang on my xmas tree. (Since replaced by a KICKASS Spiderman one..) Sam gave Cub fans a tremendous amount of joy while he was man-ing... or... if I may... mang-ing the 9 for the beloved Coo.. he was there in '03 when the Cubs yoke-kicked me....


We have all seen the horrific sideshow this man has become. I wish that he'd go away. Yes, MLB owes Sosa and The Worlds' Largest Irishman a debt of gratitude, but he embarrassed everyone who loved and supported him in Chicago. I'm not even talking about the hellish steroid shitstorm... HE CORKED HIS BAT! WHAT THE FUCK?!? ARE YOU KIDDING?!?


In the end, after all of the joy and goodwill, the man became a pariah. His jukebox was smashed in his own clubhouse and many a punchline involve his name.


Good luck Rangers.....


PS -- I'd like to thank Solomon Torres for providing the pic up top when he earholed Jerky... I remember him saying it wasn't on purpose.. yeah... OK....

13 comments:

Jerious Norwood said...

As a fellow Cub fan I'd like to request that every one just chill-the-fuck-out about Sammy. Jesus-fucking-Christ people. He cheated. So did everyone else. Get over it. What he also did, was provide us with a sustained period of fun and good times (that if I recall correctly have been few and far between in franchise history). So calm down. The Rocket cheated too, so did just about every jack off AAAA player who needed just that extra something to make it to the show. Whatever.

If you want to be original, why don't you write about your outrage at the fact that every Bear (as well as every other NFL player) is on some kind of juice. Or are you waiting for Jay Mariotti, and every other loser from 'Around the Horn' to think it first.a

Anonymous said...

I would have to agree with norwood on that one. Your post is harsh and not entirely warranted. All things considered, Sammy brought a ton of fun and excitement to what would have been some otherwise miserable Cubs seasons. He was often times hilarious, admittedly fragile, and not the greatest in the field, but he tried hard and he loved Cubs fans. You don’t hit 588 home runs without a little bit of talent too. Give the guy a freaking break, he just wants to hit 600 and unlike too many other athletes he actually loves the game of baseball. He’s not hurting anybody, and the chances of him even making the squad out of spring training are slim at best, so who the hell cares? A real Cub fan would be rooting for him, but go ahead buddy “wish that he’d go away”, call him a fucker, and post a pic of him getting blasted in the face by a curve ball he never could hit anyway. Classy.

Phil said...

Quinn - Congrates on finding the cold, hard place where Jerious's heart lives.

Jerious - Your first paragraph is a restatement of what Quinn wrote twice in his post. Dwelling on the positive, diminishing the negative? That's not like you, Jerious.

The NFL steroid problem, what should we do, sneak into the Bears locker room, steal hair samples and have them tested. The NFL has a drug policy, guys get popped every year for it. Until drug testing science catches up with HGH, or Romanowski writes a book handing us Montana, or Rice, or Elway, it's a nonstory with no evidence. Claiming knowledge of something with no evidence isn't original, it's Bush politics.

Anonymous - Thanks for reading and posting.

You both sound like battered housewives, convincing themselves that their abusive husband really loves them.

Anonymous said...

It isn't about sammy cheating that makes certain cub fans resent him. Cheating is forgivable. It was his attitude. If sammy loved the game so much, why did he start locker room fueds over salsa music and its acceptable volume, why did he use every possible excuse when he corked his bat before finally apologizing sort of. Why did he refuse to move in the batting order even though he was hitting like .150 Why in the 9th inning with a runner on second and any number of outs is he only swinging for the fences.

These are the reasons I and people like me dislike sammy sosa.

Yes he had great years, and some of them were fun, but he never cared if the cubs won or lost.

The sammy you saw on camera is an act. The real Sammy is Terrell Ownens with better PR people.

Jerious Norwood said...

The steroid story in the NFL is a non-issue? What are you talking about. Shawn Merriman (who was elected to the pro-bowl and would have been NFL defensive player of the year had it not been for some last minute politicking by Taylor) tested positive for illegal drugs during the season. Can you imagine what would have happened if Ryan Howard or Jim Thome had done the same. And then the NFL suspended him for four games, and then let him come back with no assurances that he wasn't 'enhanced' to help his team towards the #1 seed.

There has been much less evidence of drug abuse in baseball than in football, its just that the idiots in congress seized on baseball to distract the public from the fact that their government is a corrupt joke. Bush politics? Seems to me the same relative lack of knowledge to impugn one party while shrugging off allegations against another is the height of the self-serving and myopic thought process that characterizes Mr. Bush.

Phil said...

The original post never impugned Sosa for his alledged steroid use. It mentions it, and dismisses it. But now that we are on the subject...

How exactly are they going to insure that Merriman isn't juicing? What do you imagine these assurances are? Should one positive test demand a lifetime ban?

The lack of evidence of steroid use in baseball, compared to football is because baseball didn't test until last season. The NFL has been testing for years. Isn't Meriman's bust some evidence that the testing does work? And how does his positive test equate to an assumption that the entire league is juicing?

Jerious Norwood said...

Well first of all, it isn't just that one test, its the idea that if major league pitchers and slap hitters are using hgh and other forms of enhancement, what sane person can presume that the members of a league where bulk and strength are prerequisites are doing it as well. Twenty years ago, there was one 300 pounder, now they are ubiquitous.

Anyway, I don't care whether or not its verifiable or not, Merriman's return taints the league at its core. The thing is no one cares, including me. I'm just saying stop having different standards for different sports.

And by the way, all of this anti-Sosa crap is all about the juicing allegations. No one can tell me, the fact he left the ballpark early on the last game of a lost season was that big a deal. Besides, he did us a favor at that point. The bad publicity gave Hendry cover to ship him out of town, at a point where his skills were obviously deteriorating.

Oh and also, back to the no evidence thing, we have no meaningful evidence about steroids or hgh in baseball, does that mean no one should talk about it, or risk being called a Republican (a harsh indictment indeed)?

Phil said...

The Bush crack was uncalled for, I admit.

But your first paragraph is nothing but an assumption. That's cool for you, fine, but I'm not gonna agree with you.

Why does Merriman's taint the entire league? Jim Miller got busted in Chicago for 'roids, in like '99. A QB,and if I remember, he was having a pretty good year too. After the suspension, he returned. Why is Merriaman's some signal of widespread cover-up? If there is a cover-up, why suspend Merriamen at all?

There are different standards because of the difference of importance. The second place finisher at the Tour D France just tested positive. There has been no outrage at all about doping in cycling, cause no one cares. MLS, same thing would happen. In hockey, no one cares if they fight, it's encouraged, but in basketball the world comes to an end.

Different sports, different players all playing by different rules.

I hate to leave the debate, but I gotta go to work. Stupid, stupid work.

Quinn said...

Mr. Norwood -- I do not watch "Around the Horn" and I cancelled my SunTimes subscription in a large part because of Mariotti. (That, and the driver forgot to deliver it.. like twice a week...) Steroids, as Phil said, never were the focal point of my arguement. He corked his bat, and then stated that said bat was only used to put on a show for the BP crowd. (Anonymous post #2 mentions alot of what I was inferring, and unfortunatley, was unable to apparently communicate.) That is just dumb. As a Cub fan he broke my heart when all of the other BS began to come to light about his various shennanigans, and I will not, and can not forgive that. If you trade on the good will and love of your fans to meet selfish means then, quite frankly, you can go to hell. Yes, a billion other athletes do the very same thing, and yes, he gave Cubs fans alot of joy. (I think I mentioned that too.) He was a part of the greatest Cub team I ever had the joy to root for, and that is what makes his idiocy hard to swallow. Naive? Sure. No Doubt. Just my opinion. Original or no.

anonymous post #1 -- You sound like a "Real Cub Fan." I am sure that you are part of the throngs that descend on Wrigley. Drink till you puke, hit on chicks, and buy Cub beads to wear as you sit in the bleachers. The score of the game? Whatever... you're just looking to get back on the right bus so you can go home to Moline. That makes you part of the problem with some "Real Cub Fans." You want warm and fuzzy fun and if they win? Great!

He tried hard. (Yes.. sprinting out of the dugout to take your position makes you a regular Charlie Hustle.) He loved the game. (He loved it so much he'd cheat in the most assinine way possible) He was funny, and loved Cub fans. (Yeah, funny like the time he forgot that he could speak english and spoke through a lawyer? Or funny like the many times he spoke english in a manner passible enough for commercials? Remember the Armour hot dog jingle?) He had talent. ( Again, no doubt.. he'd probably gone 30-30 without any other influences..)

I do wish he'd go away. Just like I wish all the people who don't expect a World Series to leave the greater vicinity of Clark and Addison. I'd cheer for the Devil himself if it meant a championship. I should hope he gets to 600? I should root for him and wish him well? Here's a question.. If Sandberg had gotten traded to Giants and come back to face the Cubs in the '89 NLCS, should I have rooted for him to get the game-winning hit 'cause he was such a good Cub?

Sammy was a big reason for the '04 choke. Whether it was an insistence on hitting at the top of the order or alienating those around him, he was, along with many others, a culprit.

PS -- It's hard to hit a pitch with your face... that's why most get the fuck out of the way... FYI funboy...

Anonymous said...

Class act buddy, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you would personally attack someone you never met, it falls pretty much in line with the rest of your crappy blogging. Whatever you need to tell yourself to make yourself feel better though. Again, real classy.

Murray St. Clair said...

this is the greatest post in the entire world...cubs fans berating cubs fans. you know the situation has reached a boiling point when you're turning on your own. it's like christmas to a white sox fan.
thank you all. every single cellar dwellar lovin one of ya!

Jerious Norwood said...

Just to set the record straight, the corked bat controversy was perhaps the most ill-conceived cheating scheme ever perpetrated. Physicists say that it doesn't even help, so that if there were an advantage it was a kind of placebo effect. This leads to my overarching point.... I just can't get worked up over this cheese-ball, let alone be 'heart-broken'.

By the way, a friend of mine said he met Mark Prior at a bar in Chicago last night. Apparently, he's a super big dork. Not really a surprise, but I figure if blogging is good for anything, its the spreading of unreliable information, rumors, and innuendo.

Phil said...

That has been a big part of the negative feeling the city has for the Cubs the last few years. Most of them are dorks. I've heard that Prior can be quite a dick as well.